We have all heard of the trauma responses Fight or Flight. But, what about Freeze and Fawn?
I grew up in a dysfunctional chaotic household. I never fought but I put the other responses into use.
I would freeze, get quiet, stay out of the way and try to be invisible to avoid any emotional or psychological abuse. It did work, in a way, but I was also overlooked.
I would fawn, people please to the point that I don’t know what I want. I sought external validation.I still don’t feel that I am good enough,
I would take flight and stay away from home as often as I could. I escaped into drugs and alcohol. If I could not physically get away, I would dissociate (space out).
Now, I am safe but old coping skills are hard to change. I have to make an effort to stay present, to think about my wants, to set boundaries.