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alphabet game vote

V is for Vote

I was thinking of writing about Valentines Day, but I don’t have much to say. We don’t really celebrate and I know people can feel they are missing out if they are not in a relationship.

I am in the US and we have a variety of Presidential candidates. There were 20 names on my ballot. (Some have dropped out), it is important to vote so our government represents us, Not everyone is able to vote. They can’t miss work, need an id, can’t get to the polls, etc. If you can, vote. Primary dates vary by state, mine is March 3.

They have made it easy in my County. They mailed ballots you can return by mail or drop off. There are a number of voting days if you choose to go to the polls and you can go to any polling place in the county. No id required. I have already voted.

I worry about the integrity of our elections. We have machines that can malfunction, foreign interference, gerrymandering, voter suppression. I thought hand marked ballots were the answer, but that is not accessible to everyone.

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alphabet game unconditional

Unconditional

Growing up, it seemed like most things came with strings attached. I was acceptable as long as I behaved well. If you borrowed money, you were indebted forever and constantly reminded.

It was not until I got married that I felt unconditional love. My husband did not react unkindly if I made a mistake. It was okay to be human. No one was keeping score. Then, when I had children, I felt it again. And of course, my dog loves me and is always happy to see me,

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alphabet game Tagline Uncategorized

T is for tagline

What would an Orange County housewife be without a tagline. I am a Bravo TV fan and watch the housewife shows.

I am having trouble coming up with anything original. There are a few quotes I like.

“Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.”

Camus

or

“Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most”

Mark Twain

 

Maybe something along the lines of:

Schizoaffective disorder does not define me, but it has a strong presence in everything I do.

 

Categories
alphabet game bipolar schizoaffective schizophrenia

Schizoaffective Disorder

I was not sure what to choose for an “S” word, but this disorder affects my whole life. Also, most people have never heard of it.

Schizoaffective is basically a combination of a thought disorder, like schizophrenia and a mood disorder, like bipolar. There is controversy about the diagnosis. It can resemble bipolar with psychotic features except you have weeks of psychotic symptoms while not in a mood state (manic or depressed). Or, it can seem like schizophrenia with depression. There are 2 types, bipolar type and depressive type. I have the bipolar type and have had mania.

I had years of psychotic symptoms, it was either a long episode with periods of insight and lucidity, or a number of relapses. It all is rolled together in my mind. But, once I got on a good medication cocktail (I take several types), I have not had the severe symptoms. Now, I am more troubled by fatigue, anxiety and milder depressions.

Prognosis varies. I am married, have children, work part time. I had a psychotic break at 39. I know nothing about dating with a diagnosis or pregnancy and psych meds. Mental illnesses can be hard on marriages. We were married for 7 years before I was diagnosed. Fortunately, my husband is supportive and understanding.

I see a psychiatrist, a therapist, and go to a support group for mood disorders. Some good resources can be found through the National Alliance for Mental Illness NAMI.org and depression and bipolar support alliance dbsa.org.

Categories
alphabet game reliable

Reliable

It sounds boring and predictable, but I am reliable. If I make a commitment, I stick to it. This has not always been the case. I used to get anxious and back out of things. I was seen as flakey.

I don’t like surprises. I am not spontaneous.

“spontaneity has it’s time and place” – Sure Thing

Categories
alphabet game quiet Uncategorized

Quiet

I like places that are peaceful and quiet. I would rather be alone than at a party.

When I was younger, I would barely speak. They called me shy. I have social anxiety. Now, I can speak in front of groups, although I still shake, but it took a lot of work. I am typically a bundle of nerves. I have a number of coping skills. They all help a little, and it adds up.

I have a list of different coping methods here:

https://lorib.blog/2017/03/20/coping-with-schizoaffective-disorder/

Categories
alphabet game politics presidential election primaries

Politics

I rarely make posts about politics. I don’t want to upset people or get in debates. But, the corruption in government is getting more blatant. Donald Trump as president is a product of election interference. We have voting machines that can change results, foreign governments interfering, voter suppression by things like requiring an id, which is a problem in itself because you need time and money for that, but then closing dmvs so it is even more of a burden, gerrymandering.

I received my mail in ballot with 20 presidential candidates listed (some who have dropped out). I really like Harris and it is a shame she ended her run. I am torn, I want someone who has ideas I value and who can beat Trump. We need everyone to vote if we want to overcome all the cheating and I am cynical that will be enough. I want fair, honest elections with everyone who wants to, being able to vote.

Categories
alphabet game glasses optometry

O is for Optometry

Not my most favorite O word, but I want to keep this blog user friendly

I don’t know where I would be without optometry. I would probably be squinting, walking into things, guessing what signs say. I used to have good vision, then, I hit 40. First, I just needed glasses for reading, but now I have progressive lenses. Not bifocals, but trifocals. I had no trouble adjusting to them.

The last time I had my vision checked my left eye has gotten much worse. The lens on that side is much thicker. The man taking the order asked what happened. Did I get in an accident or have a stroke? No, I don’t know why it got so much worse.

If you asked me what I could not do without, you can take a away my phone but I need to keep my glasses.

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alphabet game neurotransmitters Uncategorized

Neurotransmitters

I don’t understand them well, but neurotransmitters rule my life. Too much dopamine and I get psychotic. Too little serotonin and I am depressed. Along with others like glutamate it is a delicate balance

I take medications and supplements to help restore the balance. They seem to be working. If only they did not come with side effects. My mouth is constantly dry to the point it is hard to talk. I usually carry a bottle of water everywhere. I am chronically fatigued which I believe is due in part to my medications. It is definitely worth those side effects to be functional

Chemical imbalance is one theory for mental illness. In my case it makes sense to me.

Categories
alphabet game money

Money, money, money

Continuing the alphabet game with the letter M.

I worry about Money. I imagine that is common.

When I was psychotic I would spend and donate to causes because voices told me I should. It could have been worse, but I was isolating so I did not have a lot of spending opportunities. I remember something popped up on the computer screen once. I thought it was a message and I purchased it. It was a year subscription to something we did not need.

So, my husband took over our finances. Now, I am unsure of where we are at, which makes me anxious. I should have him go through it with me, he will, When I am ready.